


On The First Hour of Christmas

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avenger Loki, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, M/M, Magic, Mischief, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Tony-centric, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 13:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8715238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: It's just past midnight - now officially Christmas Day, and Tony receives something unexpected.
  "On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me..."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So I went and did a thing, a _Christmas_ thing and then made myself wait until at least the 1st of December to post. NaNo is also _finally over for me_ so I can stop driving myself towards that and give my problem fics more time rather than just jumping between the oneshots that wanted to be written in order to get my wordcount.
> 
> ANYWAY. Happy Holidays everyone! This is very early in the month but I simple couldn't wait! Enjoy some Christmas Fluff!

Tony had only been in bed and asleep for a few hours when JARVIS woke him. 

“Sir,” his AI told him when he was roused enough to be coherent. “An item has appeared in the penthouse. I believe magic is the cause.”

Tony was up and out of bed in an instant, forming a gauntlet on his hand via the watch he never slept without anymore. “What kind of object?”

JARVIS paused. “It does not appear to be hostile.”

“That’s not an answer, J.”

“It appears to be a partridge, sir.”

Tony blinked slowly. “A what?”

“A partridge, sir. In a pear tree.”

Tony stilled in the doorway of his bedroom, his hand dropping to a less offensive, more blatantly surprised stance. “You are kidding me, right?”

“No, sir.”

Tony pushed open his door and stalked into the living room, the lights coming on instantly and making him blink a few times to adjust. The penthouse was just as he’d left it; a few Christmas decorations, a tablet and some documents he’d been working on before crashing for the night. There were also a couple of presents he’d been planning to take down to the communal lounge in the morning for the Christmas Day Gifts Exchange.

There was now also a small potted pear tree with a partridge standing beside it. When it saw Tony it promptly jumped off the table and hid under the couch.

“What the fuck?” Tony asked loudly, hoping that would create an explanation.

“It is 12am on the 25th of December,” JARVIS announced promptly. “One could consider it the first hour of Christmas.”

“There is a partridge and a pear tree in my house. Where the hell are the diagnostics? Whose magical signature is it? If it was Loki, I swear to god-”

“The energy that was registered at the time of its arrival does characterise as magic, but it was not Mr Liesmith’s signature from either his Aesir or Jotun form.”

Tony glared. “Well, whose is it then?”

“We do not have a record of this magic-user on file.”

“Well, that’s just great.”

Stepping further into the living area, he did his best not to startle the bird that he could just see some feathers of as he picked up his tablet and moved towards the bar. “JARVIS, make me some coffee and send me everything you’ve got on this.”

“Would you like to wake Dr Banner or Mr Lisemith?”

Tony eyed the newest piece of his decor before deciding, “No, leave it for now. It’s odd, but it doesn’t seem life-threatening.”

“Yes, sir.”

With that decided, he quickly started focusing on everything JARVIS had collected. He spent a good portion of the first hour running into more dead ends than anything else. He also Googled partridges and put down some fruit for it once it had climbed out from under the couch. Tony had been ready to pack up, go to bed and deal with it in the morning, maybe even re-gift the bird to one of the Avengers, when it reached 1am.

He hadn’t known at the time that it was what had happened. He’d just been washing his coffee cup when he’d heard the sound of a bird flying. His partridge research had been somewhat extensive so he now knew that they couldn’t fly very well, this bird had sounded practiced.

Tony had already been turning, feeling suspicious when JARVIS had announced, “Another energy spike, sir.”

When he faced the living room he found a second pear tree, another partridge and he was going to pretty confidently say _two turtle doves_.

“Fuck,” he said aloud and forwent washing his cup to just pour more coffee in it. “ _Fuck_.”

“I believe you may need more bird food, sir.”

Rubbing a hand over his forehead, Tony ignored JARVIS and asked instead, “Pull me up the lyrics to that carol.”

He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

* * *

By 2am, Jarvis had started announcing the new arrivals with an old-fashioned clock chime. He’d told Jarvis it wasn’t funny and that he was going to be dismantled as soon as he solved the current problem.

Yet, the sound effects remained.

The animals had all gotten used to his presence now, the partridges didn’t cower, the turtle doves tried to drink his coffee and he almost tripped over the French hens when he paced.

JARVIS kept insisting he should call for back up, but stubbornly, Tony refused.

How bad could it get?

* * *

It was at 3am that he finally agreed to call in reinforcements and had JARVIS connect him through loudspeaker to the other man’s floor.

“Stark,” Loki had growled, his voice sleep-roughened and pissed off. “Do you know-”

“Yes, yes, it’s early. Can you just get your ass up to the penthouse? Magical shit is going down and I actually admit to needing help. Gloat later, assist now.”

He’d had JARVIS cut the call after that, and much to his relief, Loki had showed up a few minutes later seeming to having woken up a little more and been ready teleported to his aid.

They were both in their sleep clothes still, although Loki had on slippers and had likely fixed his hair. Tony’s was all over the place from stress and having run his fingers through it. Tony honestly envied Loki's shoes a little, the floor had seen better days.

Loki surveyed the room with raised eyebrows and a blank expression.

“Okay, so this is probably a little confusing but-”

“Agent Barton has been playing your irritating holiday ballads for weeks,” Loki interrupted simply. “I am well aware of the connotations.” He paused to watch a hen jump off one of the seats and semi-gracefully fall to the floor. “Someone certainly thinks rather highly of you, or themselves. True love is the description used, is it not?”

“This is not true love, this is a _hostile takeover_.”

Loki smirked, obviously amused. “I’m surprised you aren’t accusing _me_ of the deed if you believe it to be antagonistic in nature.”

Tony held up a finger. “Firstly, I’ve already checked and it’s not _your_ magical signature responsible for this mess and _secondly_ -”

Tony words were cut off by sound of JARVIS striking the clock. He winced and his shoulders hitched up towards his ears in preparation as it hadn’t _quite_ been three am when he’d asked for Loki’s help, but now it was and along with it came the sudden trill of four birds. 

Four _calling birds_ , to be precise, and with it followed the rest of the stupid song; three more French hens, two more turtle doves and a partridge in another damn pear tree.

Loki stepped to the side daintily as the pear tree landed not far from his feet. Tony just closed his eyes and resisted the urge to find something to knock his head against.

“Well,” Loki remarked, “I can see why you’d be perturbed.”

“Yes, and if you could _make it stop_ before we get up to seven swans or nine ladies, it would be _really appreciated_.”

Loki tilted his head, a grin twitching at his mouth. “I would have thought you’d enjoy having women dancing for you.”

“Not. Amused. Loki.”

“Oh,” Loki told him, “but I certainly am.”

Tony would have hit him, if the mage wasn’t already turning away from Tony and asking JARVIS for more information on the situation. There was already magic glowing from his eyes and hands as he started surveying the animals. 

A turtle dove decided to take that moment to fly over and land on Tony’s head. He closed his eyes and tried not to start throwing a temper tantrum. He wasn’t going to be that childish in front of Loki, he _wasn’t_.

But if the bird fucking shit on him, all bets were _off_.

* * *

The five golden rings came without much ceremony, landing in front of Tony on the bar. He picked one up and eyed it absently before scooping them all into an empty whisky glass. He had a feeling it would be filled up fairly quickly.

He checked the next line in the carol and had to ask, “Why are there so many birds?”

“It is _your_ stupid holiday,” Loki grouchily answered, scowling from where he was trying to clear a space on the floor to do magic. The new birds had landed nearby and kept trying to climb into his circle. “Stark, would you please assist and _remove_ these birds from my presence?”

Looking at him sitting there, Tony had to admit it was a shame he was so attractive, yet so disinterested and unimpressed with Tony in general. 

Ah, well, more was the pity.

He still answered Loki’s ridiculous request, “Oh, like I have any control over them.”

“If you want me to counter or _end_ this spell, you will find a way.”

Tony sighed loudly and put down his drink before digging in the fridge and cupboards. He still had some of those weird grains and seeds Pepper liked to put on her cereal in there. That and some fruit was dumped on a plate on the floor, which drew the attention of most of the birds. He then went back to the bar, grabbed his drink and walked over to Loki.

Loki had glared at him when he’d first gone for the scotch, but he’d just poured the mage one of his own and ignored the scowl. Because, honestly, when his house was filling up with birds with no end to their appearance in sight, alcohol was growing increasingly necessary. Loki’s drink was sitting untouched beside him, although, Tony wouldn’t be surprised if that one curious turtledove that kept going for his coffee hadn’t tried to take a sip; it seemed to be wobbling a little more recently.

Reaching Loki, he took care not to pick anywhere on the floor that was covered in bird poop or feathers before he sat down next to the mage. He had nothing better to do, so he was prepared to spend his time drinking and batting away any encroaching birds who might venture near them again. 

“Any thoughts?” he asked Loki, having sunk into a vague kind of acceptance over the whole thing. If they couldn’t stop it, he’d just move onto Bruce’s floor until the twelve hours had passed and it was safe to start clearing everything and everyone out.

“Someone is attempting to court you?” Loki suggested absently.

Tony snorted. “Someone with absolutely _zero_ idea on how to ask someone out, apparently.”

“It is a tad excessive.”

Tony couldn’t help laughing at the dry remark before he grinned at Loki. “Thanks.” 

Loki looked at him, seeming confused. “For actually coming up here and not just going back to sleep.”

“You had seemed rather alarmed, and you came to _me_ for assistance as well; that’s rare enough to be intriguing, Stark.”

“Oh, come on,” Tony protested. “I know the first year was a bit rough, but we’ve been getting along pretty good the last few months. All of us have. You’ve got presents under the tree this year too, you know.”

Loki shook his head even if he was smiling faintly. “Mortals grow too easily attached.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony lightly whacked Loki’s shoulder, gaining a small glare. “Deal with it, asshole.”

“Perhaps, just for that, I should leave you to weather the remaining hours of this spell alone.”

Tony scoffed, hiding his discomfort and slight terror at the idea. “What’s to weather? I shut the door, go downstairs and peek back in after eleven.”

Loki chuckled. “Oh no, Stark, I’m afraid one of the things I _can_ tell you is that the spell is tied to _you_. If you leave this floor, the gifts will simply follow and appear wherever you are.”

 _Fuck_. There went his hiding plan.

“Okay, right, well, you’ve almost cracked it, yeah?”

The look Loki shot him was not at all comforting. “Loki, tell me you’ve almost cracked this.”

“Stark, whoever did this not only took great pains to hide who they were, but they crafted a complicated spell simply to be able to send you this sequence of gifts on time, and regardless of where you might be on this or _any_ world.”

“Yeah, well, their _dedication_ to the idea aside, I _don’t want it_.”

Loki narrowed his eyes slightly. “Stark, this is not an easy task that they’ve embarked on. I would be careful declaring your refusal when you don’t know who they are or what they want from you.”

Tony put down his drink but only so he could lean forward over his knees and press the palm of his hands into his eyes, trying to ward off an oncoming headache. He wasn’t afraid or angry; he was just suddenly really fucking _tired_. 

Why, of all the people that he knew and found attractive did it have to be someone _else?_ Why couldn’t it be the man beside him, for fuck’s sake?

“Why couldn’t I have just gotten someone trying to kiss me under the mistletoe?” He groaned pitifully.

He heard Loki chuckle softly. “You avoid those little sprigs with a skill that is almost admirable. I think even they know their limits.”

Something about that phrase niggled at the back of Tony’s mind and his eyes narrowed against his hands. He didn’t remove them though, not yet, instead he proposed another question, keeping his tone as neutral as possible. “They could have just asked me out?”

“And you would have accepted or paid attention to such an uncreative attempt?”

“And this is supposed to be better?” Tony demanded. “A ridiculous, annoying, _overdramatic_ -”

“ _Mischievous_ ,” Loki interrupted him, sounding so fucking proud of himself, “and highly amusing means of getting you alone and watching you scowl.”

Tony dropped his hands and turned to glare at Loki. He was grinning wide enough that he was almost dimpling. His eyes scrunched at the corners even if there was something wicked and pleased radiating off him.

“You _utter fuck_. Whose magic are you using?”

Loki shrugged. “My mother was more than willing to help with the task; she is rather the trickster herself. She looks forward to meeting you as well, when she arrives in a few hours.”

“You _little shit_ ,” Tony swore again even if he was trying not to laugh. “You sat here the _whole time_ listening to me whine and moan and swear and _you were doing it all along_.”

Loki's smile had turned softer now and he was watching Tony with such fondness. “A delightful way to spend my morning; courting you.”

Tony let out and incredulous huff of laughter and shook his head. “This is probably the stupidest, most irritating thing anyone has _ever_ done for me.”

“Excellent, I would so hate to be outmatched.”

Tony only laughed harder, but he stopped when he felt a hand on his knee. He glanced down at Loki’s fingers curled over his sweatpants before up at Loki. He was leaning in closely, but not pushing any further.

“I can return all the animals whenever you wish and clean up this room with a gesture,” he told Tony gently. “I have a true gift for you as well, but I _do_ have interest in you, Anthony Stark.”

Tony smiled a little, he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to be charmed, he wanted to hold onto his annoyance and his righteous indignation, but he liked a good prank, he liked _Loki_ , and he liked how much effort Loki had gone to for him.

It was ridiculous, but it was _sweet_ and now that he knew it wasn’t some random magic-user messing with him, he was willing to find the whole thing kind of hilarious.

“No more birds,” Tony told him seriously even while bringing his own hand to rest over Loki’s own. “Or animals. That’s too much commitment before you’ve even kissed me, come on-”

When Loki leant forward, Tony was expecting it, _hoping_ for it. He brought their lips together and Tony smiled and happily responded as he slipped a hand up to Loki’s neck.

It was easy and enjoyable and Tony forgot about everything. He forgot it was too early in the morning, that there were birds all over the place and that the Avengers would expect them downstairs in a few hours.

He could have gone on kissing Loki for ages, right until he heard JARVIS chime ring out in warning. He pulled back just as geese started honking and birds started flapping.

Tony opened his eyes and glared at a slightly wincing Loki. “Ah, I had not yet informed Frigga that the spell was no longer necessary.”

Looking out over the living room, he watched as a goose knocked over a very expensive vase, a hen picked up a gold ring and went running away with it. A turtledove also decided to use the seat of his couch for a bathroom and a couple of partridges ate the pears from one of their trees.

“JARVIS, I hope you're taking a photo for next year’s Christmas card.” 

Shaking his head, he turned to Loki who looked as close to sheepish as he could possibly get. Tony just sighed with all the feeling that came from knowing how much more mischief and chaos was going to be entering into his life after this.

“You’re cleaning all this up before we go back to bed,” he told Loki simply, waiting for him to nod before giving into temptation and leaning forward to kiss Loki again.

When they broke apart this time, there was really only one thing left for Tony to say as he looked at the other. “Merry Christmas, Loki.”

He got another kiss for that before Loki responded back, gentle and happy, “Merry Christmas, Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist! 
> 
> I wanted to write something for Christmas and wasn't sure if I'd get around to my bigger plan, so when I was pondering optons this came and, well, it was too good to stop.
> 
> There is actually a comedy sketch I remember watching aaaages ago that dealt with this theme. I think it was british, if anyone remembers and wants to link me, I'd love to see it again. You can also look up the poem "The Chaos" that handles the theme of someone taking the song literally. So much fun. I hope you enjoyed my FrostIron version of it ;)
> 
>  **EDIT:** The incredibly awesome **TobyDR** found the sketch I was looking for and helpfully provided youtube links! [Part 1](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lRijElQVlVk) and [Part 2](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O9X-BmEWi7Q). If you wanna check it out you're welcome to. Man, I had forgotten so much of this :3


End file.
